Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Large Hadron Collider ended the world

I woke up this morning thinking I may have been the last person alive on the face of the planet. I checked my skin for a roach like exoskeleton, I found none, the first sign many others may have survived as well. I turned on the television and heard "hola mi amigo"...holy shit maybe I did die and now I am stuck in a horrible spanish soap opera, in which case would be hell. No, wait, that is just Dora the Explorer, I must have been watching Nick at Nite before bed. If the world did end it looks like those bastards at Nickelodeon survived as well to continue to make horrible shows with names that do not rhyme, but at least they make an attempt (ie Dora the Explorer....does Nick really think Dora and Explorer rhyme?).

Okay so I am alive and the people at Nickelodeon are alive...who else survived the firing up of the Large Hadron Collider. Let me check the netboxididly (the world ended I'll call the internet whatever I want). Hmmm, it looks like Matt Drudge is still alive, and so is Obama....okay this could still be hell. I better find what happened when they turned on this Hadron Collider and do it quickly...oh there it is
The world's biggest physics experiment has succeeded in its first major test as a beam of protons was successfully fired all the way around a 17-mile tunnel beneath the Swiss-French border.

So the world did not end? Damn all those maverick scientists who made me think I was in soap opera hell!!!!!

Okay in all seriousness, some people were actually thinking that when they turned on this Large Hadron Collider that the tiny beams of protons would smash together and the energy byproduct would be so great that it would cause tiny black holes that would suck the planet into them. There were people who were actually afraid that the world would end sometime early this morning (EST Time). Bu that was not the case as is mentioned in this article about the first test of the LHC: Successful test for Europe's Big Bang collider. I really do not know why everyone was so worried, that Mayan calendar does not run out until 2012 anyway, I thought that was when the world was supposed to end?

Scientists really need to get their hellfire and brimstone, end of the human race stories right if they want to instill the maximum amount of fear into the human race. I mean how can we really riot properly if we can not agree on when the world will end?

Now I'm going into my bunker until 2012, but do not worry I get wifi there,

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